This just in from the news-you'd-rather-not-hear department: to date, there is no cure for cellulite. In the meantime, though, until some benevolent scientist cracks the case (and that could happen --think about it: 25 years ago, the net sounded like something out of a sci-fi movie) there are lots of nifty tricks you can employ to make cellulite less devistating. Here's a plan of attack for coping with those evil lumps and bumps . . .

1) Understand what it is. Cellulite isn't any special kind or shape of fat; it's just plain old everyday lard. Even skinny people have some fat in their bodies (newsflash: We need fat to, you know, exist!) and can therefore have cellulite. The bumps are just a result of the way fat rests against the skin's textured underside. The only way to have less cellulite is to have less fat. Period. If you're Kate Moss-thin and still have a rear view that sports a few dimples, blame your mom and get over it.

2) Creams, lotions, gels, power massages, vitamins, superslimming-cellulite-fighting-sweat-inducing-sauna-suits? Quit dreaming. Hate to tell you, but it's all pure hype. Anything you apply topically may tighten skin temporarily, and if you like the tingly little lift, by all means indulge. But the results stop when you do.

3) Pills claiming to banish cellulite are usually diuretics, which cause you to lose dangerous amounts of water (temporarily) and can leave you dehydrated and actually looking worse for the wear. Likewise, you can't sweat fat out through your pores. Even if the scale says you're a few pounds lighter after your sauna stint, that number will jump right back up the second you take the first sip of anything.

Advice: Don't waste your time, money, or pride. Get off your butt. Exercise is your new best friend. It not only helps reduce the amount of body fat you have (remember, less fat=less cellulite), but builds muscle, which gives fat a firm base to cling to--resulting in smoother curves. Do aerobic as well as strength-training exercises for maximum results.

3) Try smoke and mirrors. As a good friend of mine says, tan fat looks better than pale fat. Well, she's got a point: Dark colors are slimming. (Try on the same leggings in black and white if you don't believe me.) No, I am not granting you permission to bake at the beach (bad, bad, bad). Surrender to self-tanner! It's a wonderful invention, honest. And it works.

4) Take comfort in the fact that you're not alone. I have friends who work in TV and mags, and they all say --often and joyfully-- that every supermodel has at least some cellulite. Are you hearing this? Models are just like you and me - cellulite is universal. So quit comparing yourself to an airbrushed magazine photo. Those "perfect thighs" you have taped to your fridge don't exist.

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