Investment Banker: I look better in my double-breasted suits than I do in my birthday-suit, but I'm rich so I hope you won't notice.

Producer: I'm charming with little substance -- and a little substance-abuse problem.

Postal Worker: I'm really lazy or kind of crazy. Probably both.

E-Commerce Executive: I have no idea what I'm doing, but I could be a millionaire before anyone finds out.

Editor: I have a half-finished novel in my computer -- and always will.

Special Ed. Teacher: I'm above materialism -- and by the way, I drive a Dodge Dart.

Entrepreneur: I'm always looking for the next hot girl ... er, deal.

Artist: I come from money. I run from money.

Graphic Designer: Can we pretend I'm an artist?

Lawyer: We will argue, I will win, and you will pay for it.

Actor: I didn't get enought attention as a child, but I did get lots of othodontia.

Stand-up Comedian: I didn't get enought attention as a child, but I didn't get any othodontia.

High School Teacher: I didn't make it as a stand-up comedian.

Writer: I'm memorizing every clever, insightful thing you say. Of course, I'll change your name and take all the credit when I use it.

Freelancer: I have commitment issues.

Career Counselor: I couldn't find mine.

Computer Programmer: My best social-skill is typing.

Highway Patrol Officer: I'm a top.

<<